Monday, March 29, 2010
Last blogged @ 6:42 PM

Watched 'When In Rome' a few days back and watched 'Remember Me' with mum just yesterday! I think 'Remember Me' was nicer though it was really meaningful and roar that girl got to kiss Robert Pattinson lol he died in the end because of the 911 attack super sad :( But I think the show rocked it was great I want to bring Love to watch it! Hmmm but he says when he gets his dvd thingy we can watch it but that'll be way too long its like 9th April I can't wait! Oh well, I just have to wait...

Yesterday:
Shopping with mum and grandma yesterday around town. Mum and I both bought a pair of flats each from Mitju :) Yay love it! Had a nice lunch @ the food court in 313 Somerset. After that had coffee at jones in Mandarin Hotel then grandma went back and mum and I went to Cineleisure for our movie. So saaaaaad okay it really rocks can't stop thinking about how great it was to watch hahaha :) Home after that and did English speech powerpoint :)

Today:
Dragged myself out of bed at 6am and got ready for school as usual I was late and Love had to wait but that sweet ass said he doesn't mind (even though I know he definitely does lol). Walked to school and did my speech during the first period which was English. Luckily everything went okay... Love will be doing his tomorrow! :)

Physics - Mr Zainal was absent so went to the library. Pe after that did some sprinting stuff and recess afterwards. A maths, didn't do my homework as usual but I wasn't the only one... Stayed in class during the second recess and had literature test 2 poems I think I screwed up because there was hardly anything to elaborate on in the poem and it was also kinda boring because we already did both poems before. X country played dog n bone because it was raining again super slack I like :) Bused home after that!

Hope Love will get his Iphone casing soon he's so in love with it I'm jealous haha ♥

Edit
I kind of wish we could get along better. Do you know I love you? Do you know I always tell my friends about how cool you are and how you're nothing like a dad but instead you're super young etc and its great because no one else has a dad like you. I like your tattoos and I think you look cool, you smoke etc but I'm worried about your health too. When I was watching 'Remember Me' the other day, there was a small but significant part of the show that really reminded me of you and I felt like asking you the same questions. I know you're still young and hip, you go clubbing etc but have you ever faced the fact that you actually have a 16 year old daughter?

Can you remember how close we were when I was young? Maybe then you were thrilled to have a kid at your age and that no one objected to it. Are you sick of me now? It feels like you are. You can't stop being grumpy, you hardly even talk to me unless you're happy about your work just like that day when you just got your MX5. I want you to play a part in my life not just watch me grow up thats not enough why don't you seem to care about anything? Do you know that I'm like you? I get grumpy and moody just like you too and I practically have all your genes. Sometimes I feel like a tenant I am always in my room and no one really bothers me @ home it doesn't feel anything like a family maybe thats why I just love going over to mama's house because I have jiejie around and all and it actually feels so heartwarming it actually feels like home.

I call you daddy but do you realise I actually exist I actually have feelings I actually am a growing kid? I'm 16 years old already. I'm mature enough to see where this relationship is going and I'm trying to tell you that its becoming nothing. I might hate you sometimes for not treating me like your daughter etc but you know and Love knows that I actually love you like hell deep inside. I really wonder if its worth actually loving you etc because sometimes I think you treat me like shit and you don't give a damn about my whole life and sometimes I just can't be bothered because I'm so used to being on my own I feel like I don't even have parents cause both of you are hardly ever at home.

Just because you're young it doesn't mean you can club and come home at 4 or 5 am. You wanted to give birth to me and you made this choice so you should be prepared to actually take care of a child because since I was born I was never your responsibility and ask yourself, how many years have you actually looked after me for? Maybe you should have thought about all these before deciding to actually give birth at that age but I guess you didn't.

I am proud of you. The fucked up question is: Are you proud of me?
An even more fucked up question is: DO YOU ACTUALLY REALISE THAT I EXIST?